Hey Beautiful :)

squidwurd: squidwurd: i burn calories by insulting them “hey calories your mom is ugly hahaha...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:19:44 -0400

squidwurd:

squidwurd:

i burn calories by insulting them

“hey calories your mom is ugly hahaha BURN!”

penice: let’s just talk about how there are pictures of me asleep in various bathrooms in my old...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 01:33:18 -0400

penice:

let’s just talk about how there are pictures of me asleep in various bathrooms in my old highschool

like seriously

What girls say: I'm fine

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:46:45 -0400

What girls say: I'm fine
What girls mean: I'm too embarrassed to ask for water from your mom because this is the first time I've been over and she's asked me like 500 times if I wanted any and I've been saying no but I'm dying of thirst

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Mon, 17 Jun 2013 23:13:47 -0400

okaysizedbangtheory: shit they are playing hardball now

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 22:27:32 -0400

okaysizedbangtheory:

shit they are playing hardball now

schoolpicture: all around me are familiar facesworn out places,...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 21:41:29 -0400

schoolpicture:

all around me are familiar faces
worn out places, worn out faces

lameborghini: for being a teen girl i sure do talk about my dick a lot

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 20:54:30 -0400

lameborghini:

for being a teen girl i sure do talk about my dick a lot

tangobullets: Well aren’t you fuckin special.

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 20:08:06 -0400

tangobullets:

Well aren’t you fuckin special.

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Mon, 17 Jun 2013 19:21:40 -0400

cumbersome11: “I was born in the wrong generation!” I scream as I churn my own butter and marry my...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 18:35:12 -0400

cumbersome11:

“I was born in the wrong generation!” I scream as I churn my own butter and marry my cousin

dievrgent: in 2 seconds you’ll be singing “I’m a Barbie Girl” in your head

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 17:49:09 -0400

dievrgent:

in 2 seconds you’ll be singing “I’m a Barbie Girl” in your head

darrynek: hello 911 yes i’d like to report a murder this bitch killed my vibe

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 17:40:06 -0400

darrynek:

hello 911 yes i’d like to report a murder

this bitch killed my vibe

harrysthefather: my parents literally never gave me the sex talk they just sent me to public school...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 17:02:42 -0400

harrysthefather:

my parents literally never gave me the sex talk they just sent me to public school

silenthill: im sorry

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 16:15:56 -0400

silenthill:

im sorry

meowkind: my sister farted and it activated the kinect im laughing so hard

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 15:29:26 -0400

meowkind:

my sister farted and it activated the kinect im laughing so hard

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Mon, 17 Jun 2013 14:43:07 -0400

totheinternetandbeyond: wecanbreatheinouterspace: totheinternet...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 13:56:37 -0400

totheinternetandbeyond:

wecanbreatheinouterspace:

totheinternetandbeyond:

I lost the cap to a soda bottle

Then you’re fucking stupid. If you can’t drink a soda without a cap, then you’re fucking stupid.

LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT. I COULDN’T FIND THE CAP TO AN ALMOST FULL 2 LITER BOTTLE OF DIET COKE. I WASN’T ABOUT TO DRINK THE WHOLE GOD DAMN THING ON THE SPOT. I DONT EVEN LIKE DIET COKE THAT MUCH. IF I PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE IN THE BOTTLE IT WOULD HAVE GONE FLAT SO DONT FUCKING CALL ME STUPID I AM THE FUTURE

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Mon, 17 Jun 2013 13:10:00 -0400

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Mon, 17 Jun 2013 12:23:46 -0400

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Mon, 17 Jun 2013 11:37:16 -0400